The Smart Way
by Chris Hill
Summary: Started as a challenge on the Worst muggles to raise Harry, this follows what would have happened had Maxwell Smart gotten a hold of the little tyke. Follows the TV series with a slight modernizing.
1. Chapter 1

Things on Privet Drive were not going well.

This was because the people who lived in this area of Little Whinging were, for the most part, unrepentant snoopers who did everything they could to try and one up one another. Prudes for the most part, they couldn't stand anyone sticking up and tried with community derision to pound that person back down. After all, their glorious community depended on things being hidden away from others as to not fash themselves.

Too bad the residents of Number Four Privet Drive didn't hear, or care, about this.

People put it off to them being Americans, and cursed the day the Dursleys moved out.

The carefully catered oppressive feeling of the whole neighbourhood was being undone, especially with some of the accidents that the husband got into, or did in his yard. And the friends the guy had were not normal either. They came and went at all hours of the day or night, not even paying attention to the snuffs or put downs that the neighbours gave. This was simply not done in a residential neighbourhood of their standing!

If Vernon Dursley ever came back, they would have words with him!

Alas, that was hardly likely.

This was because of the actions of one man, who, when told that he would have an all expense paid vacation in the US for the next six months, if he agreed to rent out his house for that time, leaped at the chance, with the possibility of buying the house in the future at three times market value at a later date. To his mind, the two Americans, whose parents were obviously paying for all of this, could have the place. They were obviously rich ne'er do wells, probably never having to work a real job in their lives.

So it was a sunny September first that Mr. and Mrs. Smart took possession of 4 Privet Drive.

Which, of course, led up to the happenings of November first of that year.

An old man in a strange bathrobe was walking down into Privet Drive. Unknown to him, and a cat sitting on the fence, the entire neighbourhood had new ways on spying on others. This included close circuit television cameras.

Of course, they don't work so well when all the lights were removed one by one leaving darkness, but that was well caught on camera. From many different angles. This would become a problem in the next week, but not that particular night.

However, there was still enough light for the cameras to catch what happened, if not who.

While no conversation could be heard, many things were caught, including a cat which turned into a woman with a tall pointed hat and a motorcycle which flew down from the sky with a giant on it. There had been a short discussion between them and they left a basket on the doorstep of Number Four, home to Mr. and Mrs. Smart. This one small fact would have rumours circulate, and a new underground rumour surface.

But that was for another day.

When the lights returned, all that was left was a basket on the stoop of Number four Privet Drive.

* * *

The door to Number 4 Privet Drive opened and a short, thin man in pajama's and a robe stepped out to look for his paper. Unfortunately, someone had left a basket and a toddler on the doorstep, with the result that he ended up in a heap on the front walk. The toddler gave his appreciation of the show with a laugh.

A pretty lady with long black hair appeared in the doorway at the noise.

"Oh, Max! Look! A baby."

"I can see it's a baby, 99. What I want to know, is why is it on my doorstep where the paperboy can't seem to get the newspaper."

99, meanwhile, had picked up the child and was reading the attached note.

"Oh, the poor thing! His name is Harry and he's an orphan!"

"We'll have to call the authorities, you know," her husband said, pulling off his slipper and dialing the local police, as he walked into the house. Unfortunately, the basket was still in the way and the spy ended up tripping back into the house.

"If they can't find any relatives, can we adopt him?" 99 asked, ignoring his "ooofff!" as he hit the floor again.

Sighing at her husbands usual self, she picked up the basket and headed inside. That was when she noticed the letter and read it. This child turned out to be the son of two heroes in her opinion and she knew that the villains would be after him. "Max, forget the police. Call the Chief, we need to leave today."

"99?"

"Max, we're adopting him." 99 said, the decision made without her husband. "Harry needs to be protected, and the only way we can do it is if we train him. The only way to do that is to have the Chief on board with this."

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 of CONTROL sighed to himself. It seemed a short honeymoon would have to do. "What about the house?"

"We're keeping it, but under cover names. We'll need a place for when we come back." 99 said from upstairs where she was already packing.

"99?"

"Read the letter on the table, Max. It will explain, and it will also explain why we need the Chief."

Max shrugged and read the letter, then a fire came into his eyes. No child should have this happen to them, and if adopting Harry and training him was required, then he would do so. Maybe he would follow his footsteps into CONTROL, or better yet, become CONTROLs youngest agent.

* * *

Within a couple of hours, the two had packed up, received instructions for airline tickets, had their local contact with MI5 whip up a passport and new identity for little Harry Smart, and were in the air. The photocopies of the notes that were left with little Harry causing a stir with MI5 and the Ministry of Defense in Britain who had been unaware of this private war. A war which, when confirmed, now had people watching certain places and areas as well as devoting a good amount of satellite time.

In America, where the security agencies had a little more contact with the Wizarding World, since there were many, outside of the ladies who attended the Salem Institute, who had integrated well with the rest of the population, many people had started investigating. First, no one was going to question the motives of Albus Dumbledore, who had apparently found Harry's relatives, and given that they were CONTROL agents, would well be able to keep little Harry safe. It was when they came to Maxwell Smarts family tree where things went, as was normal for his family, wonky.

It seemed that Max had been descended from a family of magic users, although, for some strange reason, none of his family members ever attended the schools when asked. It seemed that the letters were received, but never acted on. Then there were the living family members.

For some reason, every female relative was smart, well co-ordinated, never had accidents, and were able to solve crimes and cases. Another oddity turned up that was even more odd. Every male member of the family since moving to America was also smart, but bumbling, seemingly idiotic, lucky, and most amazingly, solved crimes and cases without realizing it.

Max's cousin, code named Inspector Gadget was a prime example of this as was Max himself.

It was for this reason that the American Government agents who were also Magicals easily believed a baby that was a little over a year old could have had a hand in defeating Voldemort as their cousins across the pond were saying.

Needless to say, Max was going to be tested for magical abilities as soon as he got back to Washington.

* * *

On November 2nd, the entire world, and especially Britain and the scandal sheets were talking about the possible return of Merlin and that the Pendragon had been reborn.

You see, all of those silly tapes that wizards didn't know about from Privet Drive had been sold quickly to the news agency's and tabloids, especially with the disappearance of Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Stanton. Within hours, pilgrimages were taking place to the area, and enterprising individuals had all sorts of souvenirs ready. One enterprising resident at Number 8 had even gone so far as to print t-shirts with Albus' face clearly visible.

On November 3rd, Albus was called to the carpet in the Wizengamot, both for leaving a baby there, as well as suddenly letting the world know that magic existed. The Grand Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards had broken the Statute of Secrecy in a way that would be impossible to deny. With this, and the fact that it was Harry Potter that was left on a doorstep all night, and the fact that the wizarding world was now watching events in Britain, Sirius Black actually got a trial and was proved innocent. All over the wizarding world people were now casting spells first at rats least they be the latest victim of Peter Petigrew.

Albus barely escaped prosecution himself and almost lost all of his vaunted titles. In the end it was decided that Harry was now with family and since they were in hiding, taking any possible threat against the boy seriously. The headlines also had the effect of preventing the Lestranges from visiting the Longbottom family.

Albus was tasked with taking better care of any children under his care. This meant several things, such as updating the Hogwarts curriculum to include things such as a better idea of muggle technology and a careful canvasing of the teachers at Hogwarts.

It also meant that Severus Snape had to be nice and unbiased to people in Hogwarts, much to his disgust.

* * *

"You have one of the most powerful wizards on your staff that I have ever seen," said the new Wizarding liaison to the Chief.

"What do you mean?" the man behind the desk asked.

"Well, I know that Agent 86 was not told about his being tested for magic, so we left him in a room with a wand. After ten minutes or so, he took it up and looked as though he was conducting an orchestra while humming to himself." Conrad Shepard said as he shook his head, "Instead of the standard list of tasks being completed in that room, he completed them in another room. This was before we even got to doing any practicals, as someone was still looking for a written exam for him to write."

"How much damage was done to your building," the Chief asked, resigned to having another bit of his budget blown on a 'Smart' situation.

"None."

The chief was open mouthed and blinked, "Are you sure you're talking about Maxwell Smart, Agent 86?"

"Yes."

"And there was no damage, at all?"

"Well, there was damage."

The Chief nodded for the man to continue. At least there was something to say that Max was in the vicinity. Now it was a question of how much repairing everything would cost.

"The damage was minimal and easily repaired, but it was when we tested him afterwards that it occurred."

"What do you mean?"

Conrad rubbed his chin for a moment, "As you know, the family profile shows all the Smart males to be bumblers, smart, but at the same time idiotic and prone to damaging themselves in some way while solving things with accidents. The question I have for you is if it is an act."

The Chief snorted loudly at that, "No. I've known him a long time, and Max has always been like that. It isn't an act, it's how he lives. Sometimes I really wonder how he, and I, survive given that he's my best agent."

Conrad coughed, "Well, I'm not sure. It may be a learned behaviour."

A pair of eyebrows shot up suddenly, "With Max?"

"...Ah yes." Conrad stumbled into the words, "You see, when we tested him in person, he wasn't able to do a single spell right. When he was observed in person, everything went wrong, almost purposefully wrong. When we observed him from a control room, everything went perfectly. He has the fasted reaction time to constant spell usage I have ever seen. When he was asked to relax as he would be taken to the firing range next, we left him, and he played with the wand again."

Now the Larson's eyes shaded in a bit of awe in remembrance, "Every spell we were going to test him with on the range was demonstrated while he 'conducted' again, this time on the range. Perfect bull eyes. He cast spells that normally cannot be cast unless directly from the wand to target without being in the target room at all, and with all the walls in the way. It was impossible, yet he did it. Yet when we were with him, he wasn't able to do anything but cause spell misfires. The man is an absolute genius with an array of spells that we will be researching for years, possibly centuries."

The Chief laid his head in his hands. He did it again. Somehow Max's luck had made him a hero to another group of people.

Then again, given how Max was, luck was probably his greatest skill.

* * *

"Sigfried, how did you find me here?" Max said to his old enemy after answering the door.

"Ah Schmart! Your address in in the phone book! I just wanted to congratulate you on having a son!" Sigfried said as he presented a gift basket with bottles of Campaign and some cigars.

"You will not go after him," Max hissed.

"Of course not!" Sigfried replied, offended. "You know, if you had let me know about 99's pregnancy, I would have ceased hostilities. As it is, hostilities between us are over for the next year to two years. You need to get used to being a father!"

Max grunted, but let Sigfried in. His enemy was his enemy, but one with a code of honour and his own way of conduct. He could be trusted for a little while. "So why tell me this now?"

"Schmart, relax! You're a father, and our jobs shouldn't get in the way of the celebration of a new life."

Max took the gift basket and gave a cigar to Sigfried while gesturing towards the back door, "99 doesn't want me to smoke inside with Harry around."

Sigfried smirked, "I would be honoured if you would consider me his uncle. We may be employed on opposite sides, but can be civilized for the boys sake."

Max shrugged, it would be the best he could get out of him, "Fine. But no guns until he's nine, and no explosives until he's eleven. If you can time your vacations, we could get together so that he could see his uncle."

Sigfried smiled at that. A little boy to teach the intricacies of the spy business, and how to plant explosives. It would be wonderful.

The two men ended up drinking for a couple of hours before Sigfried had to head back to the office.

The Smart homes were now untouchable by KAOS.

* * *

Within the week, young Harry was introduced to the people at CONTROL, and the Chief had to get improved ulcer medicines, which Conrad was glad to provide for the chance to actually observe the Smarts.

You see, Harry was just having some fun in the Chief's office, and had somehow crawled into the Chiefs chair while he was in the washroom.

He also found the button to the Cone of Secrecy.

It had trapped Harry on the chair, and he wasn't happy.

So he started to cry.

As per the usual incidents with the Cone, instead of the ideal passing of information, the cry came out amplified.

It also caused several alarms to go off in the building.

And was transmitted on every frequency.

In a way, it was pure luck. Control had a chance to fix the error before the next time it was used, and it prevented what would have been the biggest security breach in CONTROL's history. It also gave Conrad the shivers.

It seemed that Harry Smart was just as accident prone as his other male family members.

This would definitely bear watching.


	2. Chapter 2

As is normal, children grow, and they learn. For young Harry, this meant that he was getting a good education in things that are not normally thought to toddlers. For example, given that CONTROL had labs full of mad scientist, who invented things that no sane being would invent, it was inevitable that he would wander into a lab or two, and end up listening to scientist babble what should have been incomprehensible knowledge and equations at him to get him to sleep.

This came down to one skill that he had learned, especially since he didn't really get into trouble for it. Disappearing from where he was supposed to be. There were times that the Chief had to have agents try to find the tot in the building as he was scared what the child would do or get into and was sorely tempted to put a tracking chip under the boys skin.

This continued as Max and 99 were out on cases a lot.

Max and Sigfried met a lot more than normal, outside of work. For them, spying was a job and a career with private time was just that. You just didn't mix the two and those who did were considered lesser spies or...(Shudder)...Businessmen.

You see, Sigfried wanted children of his own, but never found that one special woman. Oh he met a lot of ladies, but none of them had that spark or the right amount of professionalism. 99 was rare that way, a modernist spy with a traditionalist background.

Of course, KAOS and CONTROL were the two most unusual spy agencies in the world.

Then again, they were both based out of Washington, D.C. officially speaking.

CONTROL, of course, was created by the American Government. Unfortunately, when the President first created the agency, it had been over drinks with an Admiral who was in the room with him. They had fun creating agency rules. The first rule was that all top secret documents and case files be destroyed as soon as possible for the security of the nation.

By morning, the two of them had come up with over two thousand rules in a hand written book which included such things as how the new agency would recruit people. Neither remembered doing this or the entry in a top secret file of the budget for the fledgling agency or the yearly budget increases. The Admiral, after he woke up the next day, took the joke of a manual as literal he recruited the first agents, as per the manual, and straight out of universities and schools, (Interns, you know), that he let them read the operations manual of CONTROL quickly before destroying it. This was in 1902 when the agency started as Harold Hargrade & Sons, Spies, before the Admiral officially joined the government in 1909.

KAOS had much the same start in 1904, as it was originally a company incorporated in Bucharest and became part of the Nazi organization afterwards. However, KAOS was never what you would call an organization that emphasized the Nazi's regime. It was really used as a dumping ground for dreamers who could not be killed, but were too incompetent for anything else. As both spy agencies grew, they seemed to follow the same rules, both for recruitment and for handling each other. The fact that KAOS shares were available to trade on the Washington Stock Exchange was to blame for this.

Within a few years after WW2, KAOS had hired most of the independent crazies while running several hundred legitimate business'. The take over the world thing was originally just hobbies of the various organization heads while they tried to wheedle money out of people and places and marketed devices and an industry magazine. It was Mr. Big who spun off the most profitable section of KAOS so that he could concentrate on ruling the world.

Still, this meant that the two agencies, while fighting each other and trying for assassinations of the opposites agents played by rules the other agencies didn't follow. They had unions for agents, and both agencies had bureaucrats everywhere. One of the strangest things was the sports teams, where CONTROL and KAOS would play against each other, just for the heck of it.

If it hadn't been for the fact that both these agencies were so old, the others would as soon forget about them. The CIA and NSA tried to do that constantly, even going so far as to ask congress to remove CONTROLs budget. However, with KAOS out there, it was deemed politically correct to keep this agency going. What was not mentioned was that it was now a dumping ground for the people who didn't fit the profiles of other agencies.

This meant that little Harry Smart was actually coddled by both sides. They even had competing savings funds for the boys schooling in the future. Since Max and Sigfried respected each other so much, and were friends in their own way, it could well be that KAOS and CONTROL would be the same agency one day.

Or at least led by the same person playing both sides.

With this in mind, Harry started to receive a lot of covert toys, such as toy guns, snappers, toy hand grenades, etc.

He was being raised to be a spy.

* * *

Just after his second birthday, 99 announced that she was pregnant. Again, there was a cessation of hostilities by the Vice-President of KAOS, and both agencies kept going by taking out the worst of the bad guys and doing research and development. Sigfried by this time was more of a family member than an actual enemy, and took his turn in babysitting the Smart children at times when his parents were away on missions. Of course, he did take them to the office. It took Harry to introduce him to his eventual wife, or at least the new one. His last wife tried to kill him after he took of his wedding ring to clean it.

"Unca Siggy! Unca Siggy! Come meet this nice woman!" Harry said as he ran up.

"Harry, I can't go so fast with Zachary and Anna," Sigfried replied as he pushed the double carriage.

"But Unca Siggy, she's nice!" Harry said as he pulled at his uncles hand.

Sigfried smiled, "Yes, I'm sure of that."

They came up to a young woman who was calmly eating lunch. Smirking slightly, Sigfried greeted her, "Hello, my nephew wants to introduce us."

"He's a nice boy. So, what do you do for a living?" the woman smiled.

"I? I work in public relations." Sigfried answered.

"Public relations? With what company?" said the woman, now intrigued.

"I'm Vice President of Public Relations for KAOS."

At this, the woman's face lighted up. "Then I want to talk with you. My name is Katrina, and I'm head of lobbying for Microsoft."

Sigfried's eyes lit up in recognition. "Microsoft? We've had a lot of people quit for your company. Oh, my name is Sigfried."

"Yes, the benefits package alone makes people want to join." Katrina replied.

"What would you like to talk about?"

"You joining us. We are an up and coming company."

"Ah. But you are not in the same business we are!"

"Actually we are. Microsoft will one day rule many countries."

"Now This I'm Interested In." Sigfried replied.

It was a start of a beautiful relationship.

* * *

When Harry was four, he started to ask questions about what his parents and uncle Siggy really did for a living. Well, it was more that he was noticing that the friends he had in the neighborhood didn't get all of the neat stuff he did, and they were asking where to get all the James Bond stuff. For as long as he could remember, his parents claimed they worked in the greeting card industry, but they also did all sorts of part time jobs, some only lasting half a day. This was a mystery that he had to solve.

Unfortunately, his older cousin, Penny, refused to help him with it saying he was too young. She did give him that neat computer that looked like a book however.

Since his family wouldn't answer questions, he decided to ask the one person who would know. His uncle Chief. Uncle Chief would never say what tribe he was the Chief of, but he would get that answer one day.

He decided to ask some questions which had been bugging him first, "Uncle Chief, if this is a greeting card company, why do you have so many guns?"

The Chief coughed into his hand, "Well Harry, the greeting card business is very hard. Our main competitor is Hallmark, and they would do almost anything to get hold of the next seasons writings."

"I can't see why you would need guns for that," Harry replied, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Son," the Chief said, "There are some business' that are worse than the Mafia. The greeting card business is one of them."

"So my parents really do work as greeting card people?" Harry said disappointed.

The Chief smiled, having dodged the questions for the time being. "That's right. Why were you asking anyway?"

Harry shrugged, "Well, CONTROL has more equipment than MI6, and a lot more neat gadgets, so I was thinking they were spies. Do you think I could get a shoe phone and a multi purpose briefcase like my dad?"

The Chief started to rub his head. Trust a Smart to be both clueless and right on the money. It looked like they would have to start training Harry in how to keep secrets.

* * *

By the time Harry started school, he had amassed a collection of gadgets from all over, thanks to his family and their friends. Special watches, shoes, backpacks with some interesting linings, and his favorite toy, the computer book which was filled with games and other goodies which had not been wiped from the hard drive.

For the magical side, he had already received a wand, the purpose of which was to keep Harry's magic from acting like his fathers. It was hoped that this would keep the young boys abilities in check, or at least prevent the usual blunders. A large part of the reason were the observations that Mr. Shepard had been making since the child had been left with the Smarts:

* * *

A two year old Harry was wandering around without a keeper. Again. No matter how many precautions they took, Harry always found a way to escape the crib, and escape a sealed room. Currently, he was headed towards an interesting door. Walking in, he watched as a man was playing around with those things with juice like mommy always had. He was fascinated as the juice kept changing colours as more was added.

A few minutes later, the man left and harry decided to see all the pretty colours. After a few minutes of doing this, Harry got bored and left the room to find something else to do. Dr. Carlson came back in and continued to mix his ingredients carefully. One wrong addition at the wrong time, and a stable plastic became an unstable bomb.

Needless to say, the lab explosion was spectacular, but didn't do much more than cover Dr. Carlson with soot.

* * *

Larabee had not been able to get out of it.

His mission of the day was the one which all of CONTROL tried to avoid.

He was babysitting the Smart kids.

Now, you have to remember that children were curious. They crawled about, got into things they shouldn't, and did things no sane adult would attempt. Harry somehow had this multiplied.

When the Chief arrived at the Smart apartment later on as Max and 99 would be out for at least another day, he came upon his third best agent tied up, in a net, and covered with pie and cake. There also happened to be an enemy agent, not one with KAOS, who was trapped on the wall with all sorts of knives and forks. All Larabee would admit to was waking up like that.

No way would he admit that following Harry into the kitchen was the cause of this, especially when Harry pulled the silverware drawer a little too hard.

* * *

Harry had gone into a toy store when he was four and was trying to find a Mr. Action figure. He had seen one on the back of one of his fathers old comics and thought he would be perfect as Mr. Action was all super heroes rolled into one. Unfortunately, he couldn't find the toy anywhere. Due to his frustration, his magic reacted and unknown to him, a set of super hero figures got to work trying to find the 'missing' Mr. Action.

The 'Super heroes' went into the back room through a vent and thinking that the 'Giant' was the cause of their 'friend being missing' they attacked. Somehow, they toys managed to push off a rather heavy package above the man, and when it fell, it knocked him out. The store manager called the police about one of his employees being attacked by unknown persons a half hour later, having noticed the man tied up with packing twine. He had been taken to hospital where among his effects was found top secret plans.

The toy heroes had taken off to find if Mr. Action was hidden anywhere in this world of giants leading to stories by children of the helpful super elves.

Harry never did get the Mr. Action toy.

* * *

And these were only a few of the incidents that had occurred over the years.

And, to add to that, Harry Smart was the first agent to be added to the Children's division of CONTROL. To that end, they were teaching him to read, write, do coding, use various toy weapons, etc. It was a lot to put onto the shoulders of a barely five year old, but the consequences of Harry blabbing out everything were worse. Being the child of CONTROLS two top agents, the trainers were expecting big things, so Harry's head was usually overfull trying to remember everything everyone was telling him with telling them what he knew.

This ended up creating a sort of absent-minded child that wandered around the place while trying to remember what he was supposed to remember and not what he was supposed to remember, as he put it. Everything that he was learning was, most of the time, very over his head, yet he wanted his parents to be proud of him, so he tried to memorize everything he was told and read three or four different instruction manuals at once. Unfortunately, being as young as he was, everything was jumbled together in his young mind in a sort of incoherent blob of information.

The various trainers, being used to adults, took this absent-minded distracted look as being young Smart was just as brilliant and wise as his parents.

A perfect example of why child educators were vastly different than adult ones.

* * *

By the time Harry was eight, he had settled into a sort of routine.

He'd wake up in the morning, check on his younger siblings, check his PADD for his day's agenda, and get going.

If he was going to school that day, all he would do is grab backpack four, put on his dress shoes as he, unlike other kids, preferred that his phone was available to him. He put on his watch, which had a laser blaster built in, and took his computer book with him, got the lunches ready as he liked to make his own sandwiches, and made sure everyone got onto the bus.

Embarrassingly he overlooked that a regular cell phone would be less likely to call attention, especially when it went off and that a normal looking laptop, much less one that was in what looked like a book, would be something that would stand out. Most of the kids he went to school with just went with the flow as young Mr. Smart was somewhat clumsy and they figured that his parents got these things so that they wouldn't break. Clumsiness made a great excuse as to why he was away from school quite a bit.

The teachers, on the other hand, had a bit of a headache with him.

Oh, Mr. Smart was able to answer all his tests, although some of the answers were out there. The fact that some of the answers were, while not completely wrong, challenged the views of their reality was one of the reasons that they believed that he was either a young eccentric genius, or a complete waste of space, depending on which one you asked.

When Mr. Smarts shoe rang, teachers tended to wince, as he asked to leave or just went to a corner and took his shoe off to answer it. Not only did it distract the class, with other kids wanting a phone like that, it was painfully obvious that Harry's parents indulged his fantasy's a little to much. James Bond was a film, after all, and no government agent would actually use such a thing to communicate with someone else. Still they had learned their lesson and had not bothered him about it after one particular incident. One of the teachers had actually had enough and bought him a new set of shoes, so that they could switch them when gym class came around, but that particular woman had to also spend a day in the hospital after she was shocked. It turned out that the shoes had a taser built into them and people wondered how Harry was not shocked every time he put them on.

As to fights in school, Mr. Smart never started them, which was a relief, but when a bully tried to do something to him, or when he noticed one doing something to one of the others, well that was when things went wrong. Harry's idea of confrontation was to try and talk with the individual in question and try to get them to stop doing 'evil things'. Then he would get distracted , or he would notice a coin or something on the ground or elsewhere and the bully would end up hurt due to missing Harry when they tried to attack. In one particularly memorable fight, Mr. Smart had gone down to tie his shoe as the bully punched at his head, only to hit the stone wall behind Harry. He stood up as the bully failed to kick his face and fell over, and then the bully rolled onto the street just as a school bus was passing by.

The bus travelled over the boy without injuring him, but it did have half the school, and several teachers, screaming.

Needless to say, that bully didn't try anything ever again as he was too scared. Harry's only comment, which drove the teachers crazy was to hold up his fingers an inch apart and say, "Missed him by that much."

The principal, kept having headaches with the young man. There was nothing that Harry actually did that was wrong, or that was against the rules or anything else, other than missing a few days of school here or there. In fact, most of the time Harry was the poster boy for a hard working student of his age. Still, all the questions that Harry answered when asked about incidents was often frustrating and was driving the man to drink heavily, making him tempted to remove him from the school for the sake of his liver. He couldn't do that, however, as his mother not only brought in a note asking him not to do so, but he received a federal government order preventing it.

That, and the donations of computer equipment were dependent on Harry remaining in the school.

It had to be Mrs. Smart that had the connections since her husband Max took after Harry, and anyone like that would drive anyone in power mad after a few days.

* * *

Then came Harry's ninth birthday.

Max sat beside Harry as he placed a package on the table. "Son, it's your ninth birthday, and as I promised, I'm going to teach you about guns. In the spy business, it's not the most essential tool. . . ."

"The ability to blend in, no matter what, is the second most important skill a spy has. The first is to think on your feet," Harry recited, as he opened the box his father had put on the table and pulled out the gun closest to him. He disassembled it and put it back together as his father was talking about gun safety.

"The first thing to do is make sure your gun is in working order," Max said when he noticed his son was finishing his third gun, a sniper rifle. Harry was peering through the scope.

"Er, right," Max said, trying to find his rhythm again.

"When are we going to the rifle range?" Harry asked, excitedly. Uncle Siggy had made him promise not to show his father his Marksmen medals. But that wouldn't matter if he could show him.

He vaguely wondered what his father would let him blow up once he was eleven. Uncle Siggy and him had destroyed a car, boat, and a house. He really looked forward to sharing that with his father.

"Harry," Max said, suspicion in his tone, "When did you learn how to put weapons together like that?"

Harry shrugged, "We have the military manuals in the library. I read the ones with the Xanth series on the cover."

Max nodded to himself. He had though he had put those away, but apparently not, which meant that Zach and Anna would also have read them. "What else have you been reading?"

"Well, the bomb defusing book, with the cover of a National Geographic atlas as well as the entire shelf with the Winnie the Poo series on it." Harry replied as he double checked the clip for the three way pistol.

Max thought about that for a second. "So you read up on pen and cell phone guns as well then."

"That and how to use a shoe gun."

* * *

Meanwhile, things in England had changed quite a bit.

Pilgrimages from far and wide were common to New Camelot, as Little Whinging was now known, and to the front of the house where the boy king had been left. Millions of people felt that a new age was about to begin, and they wanted to be on the good side of a legend. Companies saw this as opportunity, both for now and the future and came up with the perfect good will gesture. A gesture that could well put them on the ground floor of a movement which could take over the world.

While Privet drive was still there, most of the land in the neighborhood had been bought out and behind the Smart house was a path leading to a large castle, which was still being built. Part tourist attraction, part gift, it had the backing of several companies that were waiting for the boy king to reappear. More than a billion pounds had already been spent on getting the land and then building and equipping the castle with all sorts of devices that the once and future king might need.

As far as anyone knew, the boy was currently in hiding to protect his life, but he would be back someday. And when they were, the companies planned to be there as advisers to a boy that would have followers from all over the world. And if they could talk with Merlin as well, that would be a bonus for all sorts of magical devices to be released to the public. At a price, of course.

In the Magical sections of the country, the furor hadn't died down either, as people learned about the castle being built. Going out there and seeing both knights in armour training and jousting competitions that they had only heard about previously with modern equipment being used to build the castle and the amazing viewing screens they had certainly changed how they perceived muggles. That all of this was being done for a boy that their world had basically abandoned shamed them, and even the purebloods that had followed Voldemort were trying to make amends so that they could disassociate themselves with their past actions. This had them start their own castle project. A truly fitting home for the Boy-Who-Lived and his family when they came back from wherever they were hiding.

The Goblins seeing a good thing, as well as numerous magical races, were the main force behind this project. By backing this and ensuring that the control of the castle was under a group, they were able to force many political changes which eased a lot of tension. The Wizengamot, of course, was populated by humans, but no longer were they looked at as the seat of power in Magical Britain. With so many races being involved, humans were numbered as a large minority, and they now had to deal with the Council of Races in order to do much of anything in terms of the magical world.

For those not involved in the castle project, they took themselves off to New Camelot to ensure that magical protections of all types were there, as well as putting in several magical conveniences that would be overlooked by the non-magicals. A new age of imagination had begun to take hold of the human magicals, and the common people who had never been listened to wanted to ensure that there voice was heard. Many of the disaffected magicals who didn't really have a place, such as most muggle born and half bloods, had started their own company and were contributing a lot of man-power and resources to the New Camelot effort. It also led to several new ideas in combining muggle equipment and magic, but that was a headache that the Wizengamot was trying to ignore.

Not to be outdone, Minister Fudge had to get into it, and he almost buggered it up completely with his listening to Dolores Umbridge. Thankfully, Madam Bones was in charge of the Aurors, and so was in charge of making sure that magical happenings stayed hidden as long as possible. She didn't have any illusions that as soon as Mr. Potter came back from wherever he was, Magic would be out in the open within a few years of his majority, so was working, privately, with some people from the Prime Minister's office to help ease the transition of the magicals back into the world.

With the help of the Prime Minister and his trusted advisers, Aurors had managed to get on site by making a company that consisted of 'anachronisms' and that they were willing to be 'local colour' while providing some security. Their main job was to make sure that 'magical' additions were kept hidden for as long as possible and to take the measure of the public so as to know how people viewed magic and wizards. To their surprise, the muggles wanted closer ties to the magical world and were hoping that the Once-And-Future-King would do so.

Harry Potter, it seemed, was a prophesied child to them.

* * *

Finally, it came time to go to Hogwarts.

99 took in the mail, as was normal and then seeing an envelope, called, "Harry, there's a letter for you."

Coming down the stair, Harry looked up and smiled, "Who sent it?"

"A magic school in Britain. We're going to have to go back there for a while." 99 replied as she opened up the letter.

Harry's eyes lit up, "Does that mean that I can get all of those things from CONTROL's new section?"

99 paused for a moment thinking of some of the damage her children already did with magic and what they could do with those items. Was it really worth the effort of protecting Harry with them rather than get him the normal school equipment? Would his safety mean more than the safety of the rest of the world?

That was a 'no brainer'. They would have to get to CONTROL and outfit all of the children at once. In no way was she allowing them to go into any situation without the proper equipment. And it would mean that Sigfried would have to be told so that he could hold off anything that was occurring in that region. "Of course Harry. Get your coat and we'll go meet your father."

Unknown to her, several others were also informed of Harry receiving the letter.

* * *

"Penny, could you come to my office for a moment," the Director of WOMP said into the phone.

"Of course, Director. I'll be right there." Penny Gadget replied.

Hanging up the phone, he looked at Chief Quimby. "You and the Gadgets will be reassigned to Britain for a while."

Quimby frowned, "What is going on in Britain?"

The Director looked at the man, waiting to see his reaction. "It seems that Penny's cousin, Harry Smart, has received a letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He's going to be a student there."

Quimby swallowed the smoke from his pipe into his lungs and had a coughing fit. "Are you mad?! This has to be a MAD plot! Gadget is bad enough, but letting anyone in his family have control of magical equipment! You want to ensure we die!"

The Director smirked. Quimby's reaction was all he was hoping for. "Well, Inspector Gadget has been needing a refit of his equipment for a while now. This will just make it easier to do without his protests. As for magic, well Penny has been having a few lessons from a US branch agency, it's time she put them to use."

Quimby held his head in his hands and groaned.

* * *

"Shtarker, I have an assignment for you!" Sigfried said.

"Ya, what is it Sigfried?"

"I need you to go to England and get a house ready. My family will be moving there for a while, and I need to make sure certain people do not harm them or my extended family." Sigfried ordered.

"But doesn't your wife need to be here to help control the government?" Shtarker whined as he really wanted that new experimental computer that Lady Katrina was going to get him.

"Shtarker, This is KAOS! We don't Whine Here!"

* * *

Harry arrived at CONTROL and went to the Magic Reconnaissance and Research section, where they were waiting for him. After years of his father's bumbling, and knowing how Harry took after him, they were not taking any chances of an 'accident' happening. In all of CONTROL, they were the ONLY ones who believed that the Smarts were brilliant at hiding their capabilities.

"Ah, Harry. Welcome. We have all of your equipment here in this trunk," said Professor Messinger.

"So, what do you have for me?" Harry said as he walked over.

"Well, the trunk seems to be a standard one area trunk, but if you notice, there are several decorations around it." The professor said as he pointed them out. "The main section contains your normal school books and potions equipment. If you press the 'S' in your name, you get your wardrobe, the 'M' will get you your standard weapons kit, and the 'A' will get you your magical kit. The 'R' is a training and practice room and the 'T' is a library filled with every magical book we could get our hands on and copy."

The professor then pointed to the left upper corner, "If you press this, you will get the potions lab, and if you press the other side, you have an apartment."

"Just one question." Harry said as he put his hand on the trunk and tried to lift the lid, "How do I open it?"

The professor opened his mouth then closed it. "I knew we forgot something. Well, we'll fix that later. Now, for your standard equipment that you will carry with you, give me your shoes."

Harry quickly handed them over, "What's going to replace my shoe phone?"

The professor smiled as he handed the boy a new pair of shoes, "We managed to make a new shoe phone that will work in magical environments, and your other shoe is a shoe flue. It will enable you to talk with others in the magical world and allow you to transport small items. Flue powder is hidden in the heel."

He then handed over a pack of toothpicks. "These are mini-wands. Each wand is good for many spells, but too much power through them will cause them to crack and burn. We haven't been able to solve that problem as of yet. There will be replacement packs in your magical kit, and they are untraceable through most methods used to find magic."

He was then given a belt. "This belt is designed off of the spells used by brooms that are common in Britain, and will allow you to fly. It also has anti interference charms so that you will not be affected by most spells that could crash a regular broom."

"Finally, we have this," the Professor said as he opened up a rather large package, "A replacement for your computer book that will work in magical environments. We managed to get it from WOMP when we requested it, and it has all the standard communication protocols. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to develop a credit card computer which will stand the EMP's around Hogwarts as of yet."

"Any other equipment we'll get to you as we develop it or as is needed."

"I think those are great gadgets." Max said as he came into the room. "Can I have some of them?"

99 responded quickly, "Actually, can we get copies for the entire family."

The professor nodded, "Of course. Anything for your family."

Max turned to Harry, "You know what is going on over there, and what could happen to you. You will face enemies, people trying to kill you, fans, and other nefarious dangers. Do you think you're ready?"

Harry nodded, "As always dad."

"Good! Well, it seems that the Smarts are ready to go back to Britain!" Max said with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Morning, not exactly the best time, given the fact that the people who were at Number 4 Privet drive arrived at three in the morning, and had basically collapsed onto the beds. They were too tired to do much else, even having traveled by military transport with priority arrangements to prevent normal customs procedures. That didn't prevent them from being awakened by loud noises, however.

As was normal, the neighborhood was up at about 6 am, getting ready for tourists, builders, and assorted food services as well as numerous actors and extras that were working at the castle or in the area. These people were awaiting the return of the King, and that was worth all the effort of 14 hour days, aside from the fact that they could afford vacations two or three times a year to where ever they wished to go. The Privet Drive Consortium had a gold mine on their hands, and they were not about to give it up easily if it meant a little hard work.

Giving up trying to sleep, Max, still slightly sleep drunk, went to get the newspaper, and was unprepared for what happened next. As soon as he opened the door, there was a gasp, and people who were in front of the house started taking pictures, with a lot of flashes. Naturally, he fell backwards, and almost fired on the civilians. He was able to hold himself back at the last moment, get up and hold a hand up to lessen the effects of the flashes on his eyes, "What the hell is going on around here?"

These words had an immediate effect on the crowd when, as one, the went to one knee. One person, who was the representative for the Privet Drive Consortium said, "Lord Stanton, father of the Reborn King, we welcome you back."

"Eh...Thanks?" Max said, having forgotten that he had used the Stanton name when he was here last. "Err...Would you mind giving us a few hours of sleep, we just arrived back, and we're certainly not worth photographs."

"Of course My Lord." came the immediate reply, "We shall have someone ready to brief you this afternoon."

"Err...Yes. Would you mind making it about two this afternoon?"

"As My Lord wishes."

Totally weird-ed out, Max just closed the door. He went up the stairs sat for a moment, and then woke his wife. "99, we may have a little problem."

* * *

All around Great Britain, alarms were sounding in various magical communities and offices.

* * *

When Albus Dumbledore arrived in his office and took one look at the indicator that he had been watching almost every waking moment for weeks since the letters went out, he rushed right back out the door to find Minerva and Hagrid. Although Harry's name wasn't on any of the envelopes, he was sure that the boy had come back. He had to come back. The world depended on the boy being able to vanquish Voldemort.

The spells that he had layered on the house since then to tell of young Harry's return had finally indicated that the boy was back, and he was going to be able to correct his mistake. And what a mistake it was. Not only had he left young Harry in the middle of the night with only a letter, he had failed to confirm that the Dursleys had lived at that address. It had taken five years before he had found out about that, and it was only because of the DMLE that it had been found out at all. The Wizarding World had kept a hands off arrangement on that area because he didn't know about muggle recording devices.

He had been fortunate last time, in that he had only been censured, fined, and lost two of his titles. While the ICW title wasn't good for much, and he found himself glad to be rid of it only after the fact since he did not have to read so much paperwork, and the numerous smaller titles, he still had the titles that were most important. Head of the Wizengamot and Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Now he had a chance to correct that mistake, and to do so, he had to have both Minerva and Hagrid with him since they had been quite...dismayed, to learn of his mistake. If he left without them, well, even his wand wouldn't be able to save his skin. No, it was easier, or at least more peaceful, to head there with them.

If he got them out of the castle immediately, then a mass exodus of people in the wizarding world would not occur, as Minerva was likely to call Sirius, who would in turn call his family members and Remus, which would, in turn, have the Longbottoms, which would cause a large amount of people to gather as word continued to get out.

No, a quiet little talk with the boy and his family would do. Although he would have to find some muggle wear, somewhere.

Well, he did still have those clothes, a suit he believed it was called, he had bought as a young man. He had been told that it was the height of fashion in the muggle world, although he would never get used to the flaps hitting him on his legs. Well, best get that first and charm it to fit him now before getting his two, well, watchers.

* * *

This time, because their were actual wizards in robes in the area as part of the New Camelot community, Amelia Bones was on top of the situation before anyone else.

Realising that she had to get there, and talk with Mr. Potter and his family before anybody else could, she apparated to the area at once and rushed up to the back of the house under a disillusionment charm. Too many things could go wrong with the situation as it was, and she had become suspicious of several members of both the Wizengamot and the Ministry in recent years, as well as learning a lot about how the world really was. Unlike Cornelius Fudge, she had a true working relationship with the Prime Minister and his advisers.

In talking with them, she had learned a lot that she didn't previously know about the war with Voldemort, or the fact that if the Ministry had asked, the Muggle government would not only have provided proper aid, but helped to ensure that surveillance would have prevented numerous calls about the imperious curse to be put aside. It was amazing how much she had learned, and had many of her less prejudiced aurors learn about modern police techniques. Just the information they had since the war ended and she had been in contact was humbling.

She knocked at the door and a woman answered, "Can I help you?"

Amelia coughed slightly as she had not taken down the disillusionment charm as of yet, "Yes. Can I come in and talk with you for a while? It concerns the Wizarding world and Hogwarts."

99 smiled, "Come in and drop the charm. I take it that something happened with the castle being built in the background?"

Amelia blushed, "Yes. Harry is considered to be the Once and Future King of Britain."

99 sighed, "Let me get my husband and the children."

* * *

There was one woman in the world, or rather Britain, who went out of her way to cause trouble, just so that she could be paid a lot.

As a newspaper 'reporter' she had more scoops than virtually anyone else in the British Wizarding World, and she didn't care that most of her stories were 'enhanced' with details that outright lied about situations, or exaggerated it so much as to be unrecognizable from the original tale. Then again, the only reason that she wasn't dead so far was the fact that she had a lot of notes and papers hidden away that would be released upon her death revealing bribes, kickbacks, blackmail, and numerous crimes of individuals in 'True High British Society'

And right now, she had a chance for the biggest news story she would ever have.

The return of Harry Potter.

She was the first reporter on scene, and now it would be a matter of listening in to the visitors, and then find out where he was hidden, what he had done, and how the parents were able to hide for so long.

And a little enhancement here or there, like say a floating mansion in the sky, if she couldn't find where they were living, would go over well with her readers.

Then again, getting a ride into the house by riding in on Madame Bone's clothes was something she hadn't expected.

* * *

Everyone was gathered in the kitchen, and Mrs. Smart started the conversation once a light breakfast was on the table. "If I may ask what this is about, Ms...."

"Madam Bones, Mrs. Stanton, head of the DMLE, or the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. It's the equivalent the head of all the police in Britain with the Mugg...Normal police force. What I am here to do is brief you on several things that have happened over the past few years, and involves that great big building made of stone that's outside the window."

Max leaned back in his chair as he sipped his coffee. "How did rumours of Harry being a King come about?"

Amelia rolled her eyes, "You can thank Albus Dumbledore for that. He's committed the worst violation of the Statue of Secrecy that is known of."

"Ah yes. The Statute of Secrecy. Quite the statute, isn't it?" Max said nervously.

Amelia looked at the man, "You have no idea what that is, do you?"

"Ehhh...No, but then again, why would it matter?" Max asked puzzled.

The head of the DMLE sighed and rubbed her forehead, "It means that you can't tell anyone about magic. It's kept a secret, right up to erasing memories, from most of the non-magical world."

99 raised an eyebrow, "How far is that supposed to extend?"

"Throughout the world."

Harry laughed nervously, "Well...I take it you don't need to travel anywhere do you?"

That alerted Amelia to the fact that something was wrong. "What happened?"

"Ehh..Well.." Harry delayed until he saw the glint in the woman's eye, "Magic is well known in Japan by the public, and it is also known in quite a few areas of the US and Canada, and...."

"How many people?" Amelia groaned.

99 looked at the woman with some pity, "While it's not talked about, at least not often, magic is well known in Asia, and given immigration to North America, well, it's also well known there, without erasing memories. It just considered a rare ability."

Amelia got up and started to pace, "You mean to say that a large part of my department can be used for other purposes?"

The elder Smarts looked at each other, and Max decided to answer, "Well, yes. Since you'll have to know, we both work for a Greeting Card Company, and a lot of people we sell to, including government services, know about the magical world. They were not pleased with Britain when they failed to inform the government of the insurgents in the country. I believe they were called 'Death Eaters.'"

Amelia looked at the two in front of her, "What could they have done? His magic would have prevented him from being harmed."

The entire family laughed at the woman, "They would have been dead within hours if the truth was told to the government of Britain."

Amelia was about to protest when she thought of all the people she knew in the government, and all that she was still learning. "You're right. If the Wizengamot and the Minister weren't so stupid, and the statute followed, He Who Must Not Be Named would have been dealt with in the first few days."

"You don't need to worry about us telling anyone here about magic, by the way, if you want to keep it quiet. We'll be careful when we use our wands." 99 said.

Max pulled out his wand, started to wave it, and then thought better of it, "Well we'll be careful when out of the house."

Amelia collapsed into the chair, "Well, with the castle, magic may just well make a big comeback into the normal world soon. It all started when your new headmaster, Albus Dumbledore dropped Harry on your doorstep when he was a baby."

* * *

Rita knew that she was in for a bonus, an award, and fame. She had the first part of the story, and she could always come back for more later. Right now, it was time to get this to the Prophet.

A beetle was winging it's way out of a crack and started to fly away when it was lit up with a bright electric flash thanks to the mosquito elimination spell that Max had accidentally cast.

Rita Skeeter never showed up for work that day. Or any other day after that.

* * *

After Amelia had left, advising them to go along with the 'Once and Future King' story, at least for the time being, Max took off his slipper and made a call to the Chief. "Hello Chief? Agent 86 here. We may have a bit of a problem.

"Do you know that they built us a new home while we were away from England?

"Well, It's a modest place.

"How about a rather large manor house?

"Would you believe a large mansion?

"Yes, well. Chief, it seems they built us a castle."

Max had to pull the slipper away from his ear as everyone could hear the Chief shouting. When that was over, he replaced the slipper to his ear and said, "Well, it seems we actually have a cover Chief, just not the one you, or we, were expecting."

Max really wanted a cigarette at the moment. "Well, it turns out the castles name is New Camelot."

Max frowned at the phone, "No, they don't think I'm King Arthur."

Max sighed, "Well, as it turns out, when we got Harry, everybody thought the person dropping him off was Merlin, with the help of a giant and either Morgana le Fey or Niviane depending on who you ask. They think he's the Once and Future King."

Max could hear the chief banging something on his desk. "Eh...I could call you back later Chief, it sounds like you're busy."

Max winced at the shout coming from the phone, "Eh...Right Chief. I'll expect you in the next few days."

Max hung up and looked at his family. "Well, I have good news, bad news, and worse news."

The kids looked at each other and silently they elected their eldest brother as the spokesperson, "Ah...What the good news?"

"Well, with this happening, we have an unbeatable cover." Max stated.

"The bad news, Dad?" Zachery asked.

"Well, we can expect news agencies around, so we need to be a little more careful in what we do, in both magic and in our jobs."

Anna, who took after her mother in many ways, unlike her brothers sighed and decided to complete the procedure. "And the worse news?"

Max gulped, "Well, the chief is very concerned about this, so he's going to be coming over to see us, determine what is going on, enhance the house and castle for safety purposes, and, well. We can expect Thirteen and Forty-four to be popping out of all sorts of places in things other than on the job."

99 frowned, "That doesn't sound so bad. They do that anyway."

"Ehh...Well." Max said while slapping his hands together and rubbing them, "I guess that's all, we should get dressed now."

99 and Anna frowned. Whenever Max got like that, it meant that there was something he wasn't mentioning. "Dad?"

Max looked at his daughter, a slight bit of sweat breaking out on his forehead, "Well..."

"Dad!" came Anna's forceful reply.

Max hung his head, "Twelve will be coming here as well, and he's been assigned to the three of you, and is supposed to go with Harry to Hogwarts, despite him not having magic."

Harry frowned. If there was one person he really didn't get along with was Twelve. Just because he was a year older, he thought he knew better than everyone else. Arrogant bastard.

Albus Dumbledore and friends chose that moment to appear via portkey, and Max and Harry's reflexes went into overdrive due to the mental stress they were under. This caused confusion and a frozen solid magic trio as the rather unexpected reaction of the family got to them.

99 looked at them with a raised eyebrow, "Guest should appear outside and knock, not just invite themselves in. If Max and Harry didn't have such good control, you would already be dead."

Zachery and Anna just shrugged and continued on with their breakfast.

Hagrid was stuttering, Minerva had a hand over her heart and Albus was trying to slowly wave his hand to get some feeling back, but all of them were being very careful of the family they were in front of.

Harry wasn't supposed to be able to use weapons, he wasn't supposed to be as paranoid as Moody, nor was his family supposed to be so immune to violence. He was supposed to have a nice, normal, and quiet childhood, not this. They would have been dead if either of them had decided it was in their best interest. No, this was not something he expected at all.

As it turned out, Max's bullet had smashed into the portkey, which had been in between the three of them and smashed the poor bottle into pieces. Dumbledore's hand was still stinging because of this, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. Nobody bothered to say he and the others were lucky that the bottle, or the ricochet of the bullet hadn't hit any of them.

Harry's bullet took out Minerva's cane, and she was trying not to fall. Except, he wasn't aiming for that at all, and was instead trying to get Hagrid's umbrella. He had only missed by millimetres, but missing by that around was missing by too much.

"Missed it by that much." he said as he held his fingers about a centimetre apart.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting at a kitchen table, rubbing his forehead, sat one old man with a very long beard. He had only one thought in mind, which was how had things gone so wrong? Didn't he sacrifice enough? The boy that was supposed to be protected had no qualms on killing a person, just saying that he missed, and indicating by how much.

No, it was not a good day to be Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

And it definitely was not a good idea to bring Minerva along.

"Young man, you do not try to kill someone who has come to visit." Said an incensed Professor McGonagall. For the seventh time.

Harry rolled his eyes at her and snorted, "As my father, and my mother have said. You entered a house without being invited inside. Without any sort of invitation, and expect us to be fully accepting, gracious, and good mannered about an incident of break and enter. You expect us not to protect ourselves and throw our bodies at your feet and worship you as a goddess for breaking the law, foul manners, and being incredibly stupid. Show me how you can dispute this and I will accept that you're right."

"I did not break and enter." came the angry reply.

Harry was on a roll. "You enter a house without going through the door or asking to come in. That is, under the law, breaking in and entering a residence. Your turn."

"We are Wizards and Witches, going through a door is a muggle idea and it wouldn't do to just walk up the walkway."

"OK, do you see that castle out the window? It's my castle. It is patrolled by Wizards and Witches from the DMLE. People are outside walking around in robes and pointed hats. They have come up and politely knocked on the door before entering. Your argument on that point has failed." Harry said dismissing her.

Minerva was not about to let a rude boy talk back to her in such a manner. "That still does not give you the right to try and kill a person."

"It's called self defense miss, and I am fully licensed to carry as is my whole family."

"If you were my son I would put you over my knee and spank you for being so disrespectful."

"We've already established criminal actions and intent, and now you expect me to be nice to someone who is yelling at me, in my own home, about disrespect? It just shows that you have no manners at all."

"I am a Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, just by my position respect is deserved."

"OK, that's three for three because any proper professor, or any in the teaching profession knows that respect is earned, not expected."

Dumbledore spoke up to prevent Minerva from arguing more, and to try and get the obvious weapons pointed away from them. "I apologize on our behalf. I was the one who made the portkey, and was hoping to impress you with what magic can do."

99 smiled grimly, "All you have done is impressed upon us the fact that we need to put up proper wards here, as well as automated defenses."

Albus sighed again, "I understand. Perhaps I can tell you about Hogwarts then."

"Hold on Gandalf, we need to solve a problem first." Max said as he looked Dumbledore in the eye.

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled, and then he was holding his head again. The mans occlumancy could drive an unprepared wizard insane. How did the man think properly with all those conflicting things going on in there. "What is the problem?"

"Well, would you believe that Harry is the Reborn King?" Max asked.

Albus frowned, "I am afraid I don't understand."

"Do you think he is King Arthur reborn?"

"No."

"Well, everyone out there does." Max answered while waving towards the front of the house, "And it is because you are considered Merlin."

"Me!"

"Yes, you." Max said sarcastically, "So we need to solve this, and for that, you need to go and come back, in public, in the persona of Merlin, so that Harry can go to school. Otherwise everyone will follow him, and what will that do to the so called statute of secrecy?"

The headmaster of Hogwarts slumped in his chair. One mistake! He was going to pay for that one mistake seemingly forever! "I see. Well, there is no help for it. To keep the world happy, the legend of Merlin must come true from the muggle side, and I will have to take on that role. Now, I need to find a proper staff."

His eyes twinkled suddenly at the thought of the fun he could have with this. "I suppose a visit to young Olivander is in order."

99 blinked. This was not good. For the first time, one of Max's arguments went through with very little trouble on anyone besides family. Usually there was a lot of protest about it, refining, and Max negotiating and then making a joke at the end of the negotiations. She smiled suddenly in realization. If these were the most respected members of magical society here in Britain, then setting up an information network was going to be a breeze.

* * *

Throughout the discussions everyone was having, Hagrid remained strangely quiet. Oh, he wasn't too scared of the guns, he had seen them before when he was young, and handled them as well. They were just instruments, kind of like an advanced crossbow, but not as silent.

If anything, the real reason he was quiet was because of little Harry. The boy had grown up differently from what he was used to with the normal magical students. In fact, he saw a lot of how he was when he had first gone to Hogwarts in the boy.

The young man in front of him was raised with lessons dealing with survival, something that he felt that every student should know. Know the laws of an area, find out what is happening, examine your surroundings, and to be careful of some people. If he had been a bit more paranoid about Riddle, his entire life would have been different.

And if he had known Dumbledore was just going to intrude upon these people, well, he may respect the old man, but when this was over, they would have words about it. Over the years, the infallibility of the man, or at least the appearance of it, had been falling to the wayside as he properly examined various circumstances, reactions, and other little facts.

It was that which led to Hagrid actually going to the DMLE to have his conviction concerning Aragog overturned. It had been a long investigation, but having viewed his memories, they agreed that an acromantula could not be the cause of the girls death. Since then, he had completed his studies and become the Care of Magical Creatures professor.

If anything, he would have to observe Harry for a bit, try and find out how he was, and how he was trained. He could see the boy becoming a great beast master with the fact that he had aimed for McGonagall's cane and not her body. Given the quick reactions, the boy could well protect himself and others from dangerous creatures.

But that was for later, it was time to introduce himself. "Harry, I un'erstand yer reactions, and I just want yer to know that it's fine by me. It's also great that yer got parents that care fer yer."

Harry turned to the large man, "Thank you sir. It is a pleasure to meet you, may I know your name?"

"I'm Hagrid, the perfesser for Care of Magical Creatures a' Hogwarts, and I knew yer birth parents. They'd be proud of yer for protecting yer kin."

McGonagall sputtered at that, "Hagrid! He just tried to kill me with that weapon!"

"Yer wrong abou' that perfesser. If Harry had wanted yer dead, yer would be dead. I ken see that he has a good aim, just like me an' me crossbow." Hagrid smiled at her. "He was startled and pertecting his own, like any would ha' done."

"Harry, I thin' we should leave yer now and meet with yer later. I want t'e talk with yer abou' yer birth parents, an' what they were like."

Harry nodded at the man, "I would be pleased with that, although..."

"Although wha' Harry?"

Harry Looked at McGonagall, then motioned the man over to the other room. When they got there, he commented, "Could you leave her behind? I don't want to continue arguing with a person who doesn't know the laws of the country they are in."

Hagrid looked at Harry for a moment, stunned, and then started laughing.

* * *

"So Hagrid, what did young Harry want to talk with you about?" the headmaster asked as they walked through the alley.

Hagrid glanced at Minerva out of the corner of his eye, "Well, 'eadmaster, he just wanted to know if it was absolutely necessary for Perfesser McGonagall to come back. Seems he's no' keen on arguing."

"Ah, yes. That can be a bit of a problem." Albus conceded. It seemed that his mistake was multiplying, and he didn't need Minerva angry at him or the boy.

"A bloody, stupid child is what he is," Minerva grumbled under her breath as they headed towards Gringotts, "His mother should take him over her knee and teach him a proper lesson in respect."

"Minerva, it was not Harry's fault, it was mine. I was hoping to impress a family of muggle origin, and did not expect that Harry's adoptive parents were magical as well. It is for the best, however. He does have a good idea of what we would teach him, and would not need so many lesson as he would have if he was raised in a muggle family." Dumbledore stated as he headed towards a teller.

"Key." the goblin at the desk said.

Dumbledore handed over his key for inspection, and that done, he went towards the carts while his two companions did the same. After they collected the money they would need, as well as the stone since it was unlikely that Harry would visit as he already had all his school items, they went to Olivander's for a staff for Dumbledore.

"Albus, I have never made a staff in my life. Do you know how much material will be needed for the core? And how about the fact that it will be almost impossible to use properly. I can't think of anyone who has training in how to move the bloody thing. It's a lost art, and it requires one to have a very huge core!" Olivander stated after he heard what Dumbledore wanted.

"Surely it is not that hard to make the staff. I am willing to pay in advance to receive it." Albus said calmly.

Olivander took a deep breath to calm himself. "I can make it, if you can fill a little quest. It is a necessary one aside from the money for time and material. In fact, I will make it at cost to me for my time, if you can also find enough of a proper core material or materials as the case may be."

"I am more than willing to fulfill this quest that you have, old friend." Dumbledore said, confident that it couldn't be that bad.

Olivander grinned. "The quest is this. As I only carry materials for wands, and have only wand blanks, you must find three stave's of a magical tree which will be left alive and is more than fifty years old to make up the shell of the staff. It must be from the same tree and prepared properly. I will now test you for what else you will need to find. Stand still."

Olivanders' measuring tape climbed all over Albus's body measuring everything, and I do mean everything, much to his embarrassment. When it was over, Olivander was going over the calculations, and figuring out everything necessary. He then took a box out from behind the counter and said, "Place your hand inside and remove the four planks you will feel inside one at a time."

After completing this ritual, Dumbledore asked, "What will you need?"

"The stave's must be 8 feet, seven and three quarter inches high with a diameter of three and seven eighths inches. It must be made of rowan wood that has grown close to a pure lake, and you will need at least eight hundred feathers from either a Phoenix or if you cannot get that amount of tail feathers from a Phoenix, and it must be the same Phoenix donating that amount, then you must get the entire main and tail of a Golden Unicorn before it becomes silver, freely given."

"Of course, and the charge?" Albus hid his surprise at what it would take.

"4,900 galleons and it will take around three weeks to make, especially at this time of year."

Albus nodded and counted out the coins, and they left the shop. The time limit only allowed him a week to find the necessary materials and it was going to be very difficult to find them. As they entered Madam Malkins for the appropriate robes to be created, Dumbledore thought to himself, 'This may be more difficult than I thought.'

* * *

On the first day of Dumbledores' quest, he sought to have a friend of his help him, "Fawkes, I'm sure will donate the tail feathers required."

When he got to his office, he looked towards the Phoenix and made his request. Fawkes looked amenable and launched himself to land on Albus' shoulder.

"Now, Fawkes, it will only take 800 tail feathers to complete the staff."

Needless to say, Fawkes imitated a woodpecker with the headmasters head.

* * *

"Chief, welcome to our home." 99 said as she answered the door.

The chief had a weird look on his face and continued into the house and towards the back, where framed by the windows was the castle, like something out of a fairy tale. "Are you _absolutely_ sure that Harry isn't Max's son by blood?"

"Very sure, Chief." 99 replied.

"Then why do these things keep happening? Why? I send you out to take care of a terrorist that targeted your son, and to help bring down his support organization, and this happens! Why weren't we informed about this? It's a circus out there!" the Chief ranted and he turned and walked into the living room.

99 sat down across from him. "Actually, it wasn't missed Chief. For a few years now, people have been talking about the return of Merlin and Arthur, but that happens almost like a cycle every twenty years or so since about the late 1800's. It was also prevalent during both world wars, so another cycle showing up was not looked at too closely because of it's reoccurring nature."

"And the castle out back?"

"With revisionist architects, they are always calling something new a 'castle'. This was believed to be a new theme park, such as the Disney parks, but this is actually a properly built castle instead of thin stone covering over a steel shell building." 99 reported, "This one is built along the lines of a large protective area for a small town or community."

"Why didn't anyone report that it was connected to your house? That is what I want to know." the Chief interrupted to prevent a long winded explanation while pulling papers from his briefcase. "This is a failure of an entire section of CONTROL! First of all, the area of this 'park' combined with where you lived. The public media that I've found out since Max called, combined with the constant reports and Spill Sheets showing the house, the use of the cover name, and numerous other things should have risen an alarm."

99 frowned and took an overview of the documents in question. "I don't know Chief, but it wasn't magic. I would say that it was because of the numerous alias' that Max and I have used over the years. This will be one of the longest times we've used the same one, and we are reprising it after a decade. On top of that, even we forgot the cover we were using at the time. If not for a fortunate meeting, it would have been embarrassing and telling if we had used our actual names instead of the Stanton cover."

The Chief shook his head. "Where are Max and Harry anyway?"

"They went up to the castle for a proper tour."

There was a crash heard, and they both went towards the back window to look out. They could see the damage from here, and it was rather obvious that the two people beside the trebuchet had accidentally released something in the wrong direction. The smaller one had just gotten up from where he was face down on the ground, and was removing his foot from a rope that had tangled around his leg.

"Never mind." the Chief said, "I just remembered the best way to find them.

* * *

The next day Dumbledore decided to forgo asking Fawkes for help. He had spent most of his time following his meeting with the Phoenix recovering. Instead, it would be a good time to get the rowan wood. And going by his books, he had found a wonderful place where the Sorbus Americana version grew well and tall. Old trees by a beautiful mountain lake in what was termed the Rocky Mountains. Surely this wouldn't be hard to get the lengths of wood necessary.

Using a portkey to get to America, and then having one made for the area he needed to go, Albus was going to enjoy the day. He had one of the elves prepare a proper lunch with a couple of wines, one to have with the meal, and a sweet wine for desert. With the pleasant breeze and weather, it would be a good day for a picnic.

When he used the portkey and was prepared for the wonders of nature.

"Whoa! Did we score good shit or what?" a voice behind him said as he was facing the lake. A lake that obviously was not a pure as it had been given the motorboat, people water skiing, and the oblivious signs of garbage on the shore.

"Yeah man! Told you the stuff that grew here was the best for a great high! Yo, Dungeoning dude! Can we help you? Maybe share some good red with you?"

Dumbledore turned to look slowly, and saw a large group of muggles. More than he could possibly use a memory charm on, but with the exception of the two in front of him, everyone else ignored the fact that he was in robes and they were in their underwear. "Ah, yes. I am looking for a good Rowan."

The blond haired one scratched his head, "Say what?"

Albus sighed, "A tree. A good tall one."

The second one nodded quickly, "I know where some big ones are. We'll take you since we need to get some buds near it anyways."

Perhaps these weren't muggles after all. "Are you collecting potion ingredients then?"

The two young men looked at each other, thinking about putting the red into some foods they could cook over the campfire, "Yeah man. A real good set of potion ingredients. The best way to check on them is to inhale a small amount like in tobacco."

Albus smiled. These were not muggles after all. "I appreciate your willingness to lead me to this tree."

"No problem man. Say, you have a pipe?"

Albus patted his pocket, "I do have one on me."

The young man pulled out a small bag and shoved it into Dumbledores hands, "Then try this while we lead you to your tree."

Albus appreciated the gesture, Tobacco really was used to greet people in the Americas.

When he recovered three days later, he found that he had brought back a lot of plants that were now planted around the grounds of Hogwarts, and the three strangest sets of wood.

Needless to say, he couldn't remember much after meeting those young men, but he did find the wood he needed.

* * *

"You know, we really need to know what is going on with this Magical World." Sigfried was telling his friend and subordinate, Shtarker, "I want someone who can tell us everything we want to know."

Shtarker stood to attention, "Of course, Sigfried. I shall attend to it at once."

Just before he went out the door, Sigfried stated loudly, "STOP!"

"Yes, Herr Sigfried?"

"No torture this time."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Nein!"

"Not even the feathers? Do you know what the union will say about that?"

Sigfried paused. While the union was a good thing for the most part, there were times when they took away the fun. "Don't kidnap anyone then. Invite them in, say as an information exchange on cultures."

Shtarker huffed, "I'll get the banquet hall ready."

"Shtarker," Sigfried said confused, "Why would you need to get the banquet hall ready?"

"The last contract with the cafeteria people said that any guests we had would get the full treatment and that they would be allowed to cook for them in a style of extravagance."

Sigfried's head shook a bit in understanding and he waved Shtarker out. When his subordinate was gone, he asked himself, "Perhaps I should have let him be tortured instead. It would have been less painful."

* * *

Penny looked up from the map. "Park here, Uncle Gadget."

"Ok Penny. Where is this shopping plaza you wanted to go to?" Gadget said as he slid the Gadget Van into a parking space, "I don't see anything like that around here."

"It's inside that pub, Uncle Gadget." Penny pointed indicating the Leaky Cauldron.

"A mall for children and teens to shop for things inside a pub? The British really have a strange idea of what's appropriate." Gadget mumbled to himself as he followed Penny inside.

He coughed a bit as some of the smoke choked him, "Go, go Gadget Fan!"

Immediately an electronic fan came out of Gadgets hat and started to blow the smoke away from his face, "Penny could we please hurry up?"

Ignoring the looks that they were getting at the hat, Penny giggled and led him out the back door of the pub and then hit the appropriate bricks with her wand. It looked as though WOMP's files on the British Magical Community were accurate so far. "Through here Uncle Gadget."

"Ah, a secret passage." Gadget said as he went through the wall with her. "What are we shopping for here?"

"I need a few potion ingredients, and I wanted to pick up some new books." Penny said as she walked down the alley.

"Magic, Penny? I thought you were still wanting to become a scientist?" Gadget questioned as he followed her.

"I do, Uncle Gadget. But to be a proper scientist, you need to have as much information as possible, and magic is rarely, if ever, subjected to the scientific process."

"So, are you going to use what you get to improve my ghost catching equipment?" he asked loud enough to be heard by several passerby.

"Not at this time, Uncle Gadget. But I do have a few ideas I want to try out." Penny said as she noticed an old wand shop. "Let's go in there, we need to get a very special gadget for the next few years."

Gadget winced, "I just had all of my gadgets overhauled and improved Penny, can't we avoid more until the stiffness wears off?"

"Not this time, Uncle Gadget. Besides, General Sir wants some information about possible new recruits since Nose hair retired." Penny told him, forgetting to mention that Nose hair retired the same way Brain did, by medical leave due to a mental break down. Only a few people could be around her uncle without ill effects. Come to think of it, she would have to get in touch with Billy. He would love to know about this place.

"But what type of gadget could I possibly need? I have just about everything!" protested the man.

"A wand, Uncle Gadget. We forgot to get you one before you left,", Penny said out loud, 'Or rather I didn't want to deal with the number of people screaming, from Brain to Quimby, if they found out I was getting him one.'

"Come on, Uncle Gadget, don't be scared." Penny said pulling her uncle with her.

Gadget winced, "I am not scared Penny. I'm just wondering how much power it will take. They just replaced my batteries with new systems, and I don't want to have them replaced, or have to use those battery packs again."

"Don't worry about it, Uncle Gadget. Everything will be fine."

* * *

Dumbledores next foray was to get the mane and tail from a golden unicorn. This did not seem like a difficult task as the forest had many unicorns.

When he approached and asked one for them, however, he had to leave for the infirmary for a while, and to take sitting on a ring. It seemed the mother was not too keen in having her baby shorn of important parts in keeping insects away. He would try again, because Fawkes was being very stubborn about a few tail feathers.

After explaining why he needed the tail and mane to the mother, and promising to cast a proper spell to keep insects away, as well as provide a potion for enhanced hair growth, she allowed her child to donate the necessary parts. Dumbledore had finished his quest, and after fulfilling his obligations, left to get the rest of it to hand in to Olivander.

Olivander accepted the gathered materials, although he did wonder why the headmaster had gathered over three dozen lengths of wood. Still, this was a good thing. He had only expected to make one full staff when the three blanks were brought to him and he cleaned and chose which sections would be good so that it would not break apart. Now, however, he had a bit more choice for coverage.

It was after Dumbledore left that he noted that some of the lengths of wood were already hollowed out, and that they contained some sort of plant bud material. Well, it seemed he had found a staff maker, and had still chosen him for making it. The plant materials must be necessary to using the staff properly, at least in the curing. Since this was to be a freshly made staff, he would include some of these buds and flowers.

Maybe he should keep the material and dry it and try in some wands as well. It couldn't hurt and he would have a new product line. They had to have some mystical property if Dumbledore was bringing it to him.

* * *

"Dr. Claw, Gadget has been spotted in England." said a black garbed minion.

"Whaaatt! Why is Gadget in England!" said a man who's right hand was covered in a gold glove.

"We don't know, Dr. Claw. All we could find out is that he is doing something in London at the moment. He disappeared from sight when going down Charring Cross road. One minute he was there, the next he vanished between two buildings."

"So, Gadget, you have a new headquarters, do you?" growled Dr. Claw. "Which means you know of my plans to take over New Camelot and turn it into one of my castles."

He turned his chair slightly and activated one of his office screens, "Agent 39, how is the infiltration of the castle going."

The agent gulped a bit and replied, "Not well, Dr. Claw. No matter how many times we've put in camera's and mikes, they fail to work within minutes of us leaving the area. We have not been able to get to many parts of the castle either as it is too well protected, and anytime we have someone who has made it past security, they are usually arrested."

Dr. Claw was now crushing the arm on his seat, "I want that castle. It will be the perfect base to take over Britain, and I can have someone pretend to be the boy king."

"That may be a problem, Dr. Claw." said the agent, now wanting to disappear.

"Why," was the single word growled out.

The agent picked at his collar, "Because the boy king has shown up. His name is Harry Stanton, and, well, on the tour a few days ago, he managed to accidentally fire a catapult that we were preparing and it hit the outer wall where one of our agents was trying to place a camera. Agent 32 should be out of the hospital by next month."

Dr. Claw slammed down his hand on his desk, "Show me a picture of the boy and his family."

The agent gulped and pressed a switch, showing the Stanton family.

"He seems familiar..." Dr. Claw mumbled to himself. "I want a full background check on him."

"The boy, sir? We've already tried and he is being well protected by some unknown American agents."

"No, you fool! The father! I have seen that face before, and I want to know who he is!"

"Of course, Dr. Claw."

Dr. Claw turned off the screen and grumbled, "Why must I do everything myself?"

* * *

Olivander was not having a good time making the staff.

Oh, he had everything he needed, but the foolish headmaster had gotten sticks from several different plants and trees, of different sizes as well. The only way to finish this thing was to either get all the materials himself, or kludge together a staff out of the material he had. Dumbledore had even included several vines and plant stalks! What was the fool thinking?

Sighing, he prepared everything the best he could, using bits and pieces from all the gathered materials.

This staff would either work, or blow up, or cause unknown magical effects. It was doubtful that the first would occur, and his reputation would be damaged if the second occurred, so he was aiming for the third one.

At least the plant fibres provided a good gripping area.

* * *

The chief sat in his new underground office in the castle, "So, have we got everything set up?"

"Just about Chief," Laraby said as he was looking over a folder. "Security checks are being made on everyone involved, and that should be complete at the end of the week. Harry is playing the part of a 'boy king', but combined with the magicals in the area, it will still be difficult to keep him properly protected. On top of that, we still need to have a liaison from the local magical government that we can trust."

"How about that Amelia Bones that 99 told us about?"

"We asked, and she said she is already much too busy with other liaison and other concerns. She is looking for someone in her department who she can trust, and has recommended one Sirius Black. Apparently, Mr. Black is Harry's godfather."

"OK, check him out as thoroughly as you can. We need a liaison in order to operate in their area without problems."

The door to the office opened, "Got a minute, Chief?"

The Chief almost hit his head on the table, "Come on in Max. What do you need?"

"Well, I was just going to go with Harry to check out this Diagon Alley, and was wondering if you wanted anything."

The Chief held in a shudder. "No Max. I have everything I need right here."

"Ehh, there's just one more thing Chief."

"What is it, Max."

"Ahh, well we need to discuss this properly, and as per regulations, the cone of silence is needed."

The Chief almost started crying. Who else could have this amount of trouble with this one family?

Across the European continent, a Chief Quimby, a dog named Brain, and a retired colonel Nozzaire sneezed and felt something that made them shudder. Somehow Gadget was involved, and they quickly made themselves as scarce as possible.


	5. Chapter 5

"Max, every time we use the Cone of Silence something goes wrong." the Chief said to his top agent. "We keep turning it off and talk about things without it when it does go wrong. Why can't we simply skip that step, for once."

Max stood and considered it for a moment, then sat down in the chair opposite the Chief. "Sorry Chief. Regulations require that we use the Cone. If it doesn't work, then we can talk about things."

The Chief blinked, having a sudden Epiphany. "You mean that we use that thing only because you want to follow regulations. If it doesn't work, then you can say you tried and you can't be in trouble for discussing things without using it."

Max squeezed his eyes for a moment, wondering what the Chief was talking about, "Ehh, if you say so, Chief."

The Chief looked at Max and then sighed. He was wrong again, He pressed the button under his desk while saying, "Let's just do this, Max."

Max waited until the cone was fully lowered before he said, "Merlin is going to be ready to take Harry to school."

The Chief almost rose from his chair until he remembered that this thing never worked right. "Could you repeat that Max? I thought you just said that Merlin was coming to take Harry to school."

Max smiled, "That's just what I said, Chief. He's going to take Harry to school so that everyone doesn't try to follow him and find out where Hogwarts is."

The Chief almost started hitting his head against the cone, "How did you arrange that, Max."

Max went into a convoluted twenty minute recount of what he learned from Madam Bones, and what happened afterwards with Headmaster Dumbledore.

"Why didn't you tell me about this then?" the Chief slowly commented, wanting to know what Max was thinking about."

"Eh, I was waiting for them to finish installing the cone, and it wasn't urgent." Max shrugged.

The Chief raised a hand and covered his eyes, "OK, is that all Max?"

"That's all for now, Chief."

The Chief quickly pressed a button causing the cone to rise. "OK then. I'll see you later."

"Right Chief!" Max said as he left the office.

"Well, what do you think of what Max said, Laraby?" the Chief asked as he reached for a pen.

"I didn't hear Max say anything."

The Chief paused, left the pen and carefully backed away from the desk. "You didn't hear anything?"

"No Chief."

The Chief, to Laraby's confusion, carefully moved around his desk, and moved out of the office, gesturing for him to get out as well. When they left, the Chief locked the door, and then pressed a button to seal it. "What's the matter Chief?"

"I need to confirm something."

The Chief then checked recorders, the office camera, and then the communications grid and asked if anyone had heard Max's voice for the past half hour. With the negative reply from all aspects and agents, he was getting very worried. "Laraby, I want a team to check my office, A full sweep for everything. Camera's, bugs, traps, biological, the works. If anything is in there that shouldn't be, I want to know about it at once."

Laraby coughed and asked, "Why the security measures Chief, we just moved in."

"Max asked for the cone, and it worked as it was supposed to. There is something really wrong, or we need to put all of CONTROL on alert. The Cone hasn't worked right since day one, and anytime a Smart is in the office and asked for it, the thing acts even worse. For it to work, especially when we are talking about magic, something bad is going to happen."

* * *

There was trouble in the magical world. And it all started with the morning edition of the Daily Prophet, not to mention all the other papers, including Witch Weekly and the Quibbler, putting out special editions that did not conform to their usual publishing schedule. The headlines, however, were what caught peoples attention.

Miss Umbridge took one look at the paper that had been delivered to her and was quickly in the lobby of the Ministry, which she had escaped in short order due to a LOT of people trying to get in. The headline that she was angry about was the role she played in relations, including many copies of documents and mails that she had sent out on Ministry letterhead that should have remained quiet, such as her plans to take care of the Centaurs and other creatures that populated the upstart Council of Races.

Fudge had forgone going into the Ministry and headed straight to Gringotts where he quickly empties all of his accounts. Within the hour, he had already fled the country. If it had only been the headline that his advisers were, for the most part, former Death Eaters, he could have handled that, but his record of doing things for the sake of popularity and to be seen doing something instead of actually carrying out an investigation was not something he could easily contend with. Add the amount that he had left over from each of his campaign contributions, which he had not returned or given over to the Ministry, and he was out of there for as long as it took for this to calm down.

This was going on in almost all aspects of the human magical society. Hogwarts, the DMLE, the Unspeakables, the Wizengamot, and all aspects of government was affected. Secrets were pouring out as many different magazines covered only some of the same articles. The Wizengamot, or at least the more corrupt part, would have put out a price on Rita Skeeter's head, if it wasn't for the fact that one article that appeared in every paper stated that the only reason this information was released was because she had to be dead. There was a rush of people heading for Ms. Skeeters home to raid the place and find any more dirt to destroy and/or use it.

As it was, the DMLE received a priority murder case, due to certain people wanting to find the person responsible for this information being released. This appeared in Madam Bones office, where she had a team going over the papers to find information and send out aurors to bring people in for questioning. Upon reading the directive, Madam Bones just relegated to the bottom of the pile. It seemed as though she would be cleaning up a set of departments.

* * *

Surveillance of Charring Cross Road was bringing up a lot of questions. They had narrowed the possible entrance to the new WOMP base, but when examined it was just two buildings stuck together. When they examined the insides of the buildings where the entrance would be, nothing was found. It was a mystery that had the agent in charge worried about what Doctor Claw would do to him.

Worse was the fact that this particular WOMP base was unusual. There was a lot of activity with children and adults disappearing into them and then appearing later with bags, boxes, and other paraphernalia. Women with babies going in and out, men who seemed to come out drunk depending on the time of day or night, weird costumes which people seemed to ignore.

Gadget had been seen with his niece entering and leaving two more times after that first day, but hadn't appeared again. The speculation among the group was that this was a training base of some type, and that Gadget was getting agents very young to join up. Luckily, they hadn't had to report their findings to Doctor Claw as of yet.

Well, that was until a car parked and out came the young King whom Doctor Claw had sent pictures of out.

Sighing, the agent in charge made the call, "Dr. Claw, something is happening at Charring Cross Road."

Dr. Claw answered the call and responded, "What is it?"

"The young King has just entered the suspected entrance of the WOMP base." Agent 14 relayed to his boss.

Dr. Claw pondered this for a few seconds, "What would the young king have to do with WOMP?"

"We don't know." the agent replied.

Dr. Claws voice started out low and then got louder, "Well then, find OUT!"

"Yes, Dr. Claw." the agent said about to cut off the transmission.

"Wait. What have you found out about that particular base?"

The agent started to sweat, "It seems to be a training area. People of all ages, including children are going in and out constantly, and they all seem to leave with bags of equipment."

"Have you gotten some of the equipment so that we can find out what their research department is doing?" questioned Claw.

"Uh, no sir. We weren't informed to do so."

Claw's hand came down on his desk. Hard. Causing the telephone to jump at least a foot. "And why should I have to tell you to do something that you should have already done?"

"It was part of the last agent union agreement to prevent you from getting mad at us." was the immediate reply.

For once, Claw turned off the screen and then lay his head on the table. "I really should not have let arbitrators handle the negotiations. My people are idiots!"

* * *

Harry almost frowned as he entered the dingy bar. Candlelight was the means of illuminating the place, and it left a smokey, irregular atmosphere. Even if they didn't have or use electricity, being a bar full of magic users, you would think that they would have spelled a globe or two for people to see better. It was a basic spell people should learn at school, so either the atmosphere was wanted, or the people didn't want to learn a lot.

Pity, but that's why you had companies to supply the lazy.

"Well son, I can honestly say that this isn't the worst place I've ever been in." Max said in an aside to Harry. "This is a real old English bar, so the food will have some interesting tastes."

Harry looked interested as they went towards the bar, "Well, historically, mulled wine, was made by having a red hot fireplace poker dunked into the metal glass to which the wine and spices were added. It was only later spiced wines and mulling in a coffee pot came about. A lot of the food may follow very old recipes which use a fireplace as an oven, which would add the tastes of the wood, and the fire to it."

The nearly bald man tending the bar looked up and nodded at the comment, "And you'd have it right if the people here still went for those type of dishes. Still do it on special occasions, just to remember the past, but most people prefer to have their food cooked on a stove. Only the bread is still made the old way in a stone oven."

Max smiled, "Hi, my son and I are here to go to Diagon alley. Can you point the way, all we were told was to come here and we'd be directed to the proper place."

"Call me Tom." the man said, "Muggleborn I take it?"

Harry shook his head, "Nope! But we're from America. This is our first time visiting the alley."

Tom turned and got a good look at the boy, "It can't be..."

Harry frowned while looking at himself, "Can't be what? Do I have my tie out of place?"

"Harry Potter?"

"Eh...No, but you're close. The name is Smart. Harry Smart. Agent 7 of Control." Harry said, a bit put out at the place and forgetting both his cover, and that he shouldn't give out his identity as a CONTROL agent.

"Control?"

"Eh...Yes. Can we forget I said that?" Harry winced.

Tom nodded easily, "Alright. Some sort of American magic sorting I take it?"

"Yes. Yes, that's it exactly." Max said, also wanting to get off that topic. "My own is sorting is 86."

"Interesting. Does that indicate spell strength?" Tom asked intrigued.

"Eh, no. It indicates....what type of job you're best for." Max stated.

"Oh," Tom blinked, "They really do things differently in America, don't they?"

Max nodded, "Well, it works well, so we don't really question it."

Tom shrugged and led them out to the wall.

* * *

Lucius Malfoy was willing to bet that, somewhere in the hell that he made for himself, Voldemort was laughing at him.

Everything had gone so well after the war. Harry Potter's star was on the rise, although he had disappeared, the Ministry was willing to work on a few laws he had in mind, thanks to Fudge the ever wavering, and he had managed to get on peoples good side by working on the new castle for the Boy Who Lived. Despite the fact that it was a conglomeration of races that were in charge of the new castle, he had managed to ingratiate himself in that group. It almost came to the point where he was going to get rid of all the stuff that Voldemort gave him in case anything happened to him just because it was safer to work with this group than oppose them and end up dead.

Thanks to that Skeeter woman, all that may have just gone down the drain.

No matter, he was a Malfoy, and all he had to do was just make sure that none of the items Voldemort left around were available to be found. He would get rid of the blasted stuff, especially that Diary that he was told to use if the man was missing for more than ten years or so. Although the man had claimed immortality, it had become obvious that he had been missing a few decks to his mind. Shuddering at the memory of receiving curses for doing something right, or even worse for something slightly wrong, he wondered if he had been a madman to join. Then again, if things had gone a little differently, then he would have been sprouting all types of things to his son and raising him to be a soldier in a war that would be fought.

Still, he couldn't just do something outrageous, just in case the man did come back. Instead he had to do it slyly as to not gain attention to himself. Perhaps arranging a robbery of the house would be best. Voldemort's equipment would be gone, of course, and loosing a few thousand galleons of stuff was worth the trouble of doing so. It was going to be a headache to ensure that it wasn't traced back to him however.

Now, where to dump the stuff, it wasn't as if there was a nice way of doing it that couldn't be traced, and he would need to up his occlumency skills if he was to survive. Perhaps even having his memory modified so that he wouldn't remember any of these thoughts. The problem was who could he trust?

* * *

The Chief was waiting outside of his office as the the counter espionage team finished their work, "Well, anything?"

"Sorry Chief," the head of the team said, "Everything is working properly. Not a single thing is wrong with any of the equipment and there are no bugs or any other surprises in the systems."

He nodded, "OK. Take your team and start checking all of this base, and then start venturing out and check the entire castle. I want everything covered from top to bottom. Even the tiniest detail out of place, and I want you to tell me."

"Right Chief." said the man as he had his people start to go through the outer office.

A tired, slightly bald with white hair man went to his desk and sat down. "Laraby, what are the chances that things will go perfectly with a Smart around?"

Laraby, who had followed the Chief into the room, winced from personal experience. "About zero, Chief. In fact, the only one that things will go right around is 99."

The Chief nodded, "Call home and get some of the magical agents and have them check the castle. Then get a hold of the Chief of Operations for England and have him come out here from his base so that we can compare notes. In the meantime, I want all agents wearing bullet proof vests under their regular clothes, and all agents are to be issued equipment as if it is a wartime standing."

Laraby nodded his understanding, and handed the Chief a packet he had in his hand.

"What's this?"

"The usual from the labs. This weeks flavour is orange julep."

"Lets just hope no one actually gets to taste one," the Chief replied.

* * *

"We'll need to head to the bank first before we buy anything, Harry. I forgot to get our money exchanged to British Wizarding Currency." Max said as he was looking for a nice formal setting that was a bank back home. Or at least one which claimed to have served people for several generations. Unfortunately, none of the architecture indicated such a strong institution.

Stepping in front of a person, Max said, "Excuse me, I need some assistance with directions. Can you point me towards the bank?"

The man turned to Max, "Certainly. It's that large white building."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

Max and Harry left, while the man, an Auror, went back to paying for his morning paper. Not wanting to get involved with more coverage of the missing Skeeter, he forewent the Prophet and went straight to the Sun, which was as good, if not better than the aforementioned paper. How a Muggle news agency got so much information on the magical world was something that still confused him at times. At least he could find out the latest on some of the more interesting creatures.

Soon, he was in a small cafe just a couple of doors down and ordered his usual. In a couple of minutes, he sprayed his coffee over his table and held the paper closer. In it was the man who he had just directed towards the bank. A Mr. Max Stanton, the father of Harry Stanton, the Once and Future King, known to the magical world as Harry Potter. "My God! They here without any protection!"

He rushed off towards the bank while a woman who had the next table took up the discarded newspaper to find out what had startled the man. With the front page showing the pictures of the Stantons, well, news soon bloomed around the alley that the King was Here!

* * *

"Interesting place," Harry stated as they entered, "They seem willing to have all of the wealth on display, not afraid of criminals entering and stealing what's on the desk."

Behind him, the goblins that were guarding the door frowned. They would have to watch these two, there was a good reason that they supported the human magic users being separated from their more advanced cousins. The more advanced they were, the more ideas they got, and the greedier they were. Even with the new ways of doing things that were going to be imposed thanks to Dumbledore, may he rest at the bottom of a volcano, the bank had been successful in preventing people from discovering such ideas as interest being paid to them for keeping their money, or worse, that there were competing banks with better conditions.

That persons stepping into the bank would immediately point out the lax security on the floor was just something that had to be addressed by the bank president.

Max and Harry went to the counter, and the goblin stated, "Key."

Max frowned, "What do you mean?"

The goblin looked up, "The key to your vault, of course."

"We don't have a vault here. I'm just here to exchange some money so that my son and I can do some shopping."

The goblin grunted, "You should be going to the counter to exchange muggle pounds to galleons. This is for those who wish to go to their vault."

Max sighed, "Well, there isn't a sign for that, and I am not exchanging pounds, I'm exchanging eagles."

The goblins eyebrow raised, "American eagles? That is not something that is common. In any case you should go to another line. Spend a couple of hours in it if possible."

"Sir, can you direct me to another bank. I think I and my son will rather deal with someone else." Max stated, in a voice loud enough that the entire bank heard him.

It was at this point that the manager came up, "Can I help you Mr.?"

"Smart. Maxwell Smart. I have to say that your employees are rather rude."

"Mr. Smart, perhaps I can help you personally. It would be in apology to the rudeness shown to you and your son." the Manager got a look at the boy, gasped and then knelled.

"What? Eh...You don't have to be that formal about an apology." Max said while rubbing the back of his head.

"It is needed, Lord Smart. I had not known that your son was the King. We have much to talk about and a lot for you to understand." The goblin said as he gestured for the entire bank to kneel.

"Harry, I think they know who you are." Max said in a low voice.

"I guess. Maybe we should go with them?" Harry answered.

"Please lead the way, Mr.?"

"My name is Ragnok, Lord Smart. We need to discuss your sons castles." the Manager said.

"We already know about New Camelot." Harry said, now back in his element.

"No, MiLord. I speak not of New Camelot, but the original Camelot, restored to it's original glory and more."

"Please lead the way, so that we can discuss this." Max said with a frown.

* * *

Dumbledore was rather mellow that day. He had discovered something that was doing his body good. Some of the various plants that he brought back made the most delightful tea. His old body wasn't feeling much of the pains, but there seemed to be something he should be doing. There was preparation for the school year to complete, that was it. To do that, he had to pick up his staff.

Going to the fireplace, he called out for Diagon Alley and stepped through.

Within minutes, the people of the alley was seeing the normally calm and wise Albus Dumbledore skipping down the street as if he was a prepubescent child. Along the way, he was eating everything in sight, or at least those things that caught his eye, such as cookies, candies, and ice cream. After a little while people dismissed it. After all, with the return of the King, and the fact that Dumbledore had a rather famous sweet tooth, he deserved some time to relax.

After getting to Ollivander's, he called out, "Are you here, old friend?"

Mr. Ollivander groaned and headed to the front of the shop, not caring who was there. "Yes, and I have a bloody headache, so make it fast."

"I apologise, but I must know if you have finished the staff."

Ollivander blinked and then got a look at his customer, "Oh bloody hell! Yes, I just finished it last night, and let me tell you, I feel like hell after completing it."

Albus frowned, "What happened? Is something wrong with it?"

"No. No, I would say it is powerful in a way I have not experienced before." The white haired proprietor stated with a frown. "While I was making it, I was fine, over enthused even. It was as though I had to complete it, no matter the consequences, and I had energy to burn to do it. Now, I feel drained, as if my magic was at it's lowest point I have ever felt. It will take me days, possibly weeks before I will attempt any more crafting because of that."

"Is that unusual?" Albus asked as he leaned on the counter.

"Bloody hell yes! When making a wand I will spend some time on it and take a rest. I have never started a wand and not taken a break now and then. This I had to work until I was done. It was like a compulsion charm, except the more I worked with the materials, the more I had to do."

Albus frowned, "Do you think I will be able to handle it, then. If it is so powerful."

Ollivander sighed and went to get the staff while calling back. "There's only one way to check."

Taking the staff to the man, one had to admire it. The bottom of the staff was shod in metals, to allow one to walk with it without it wearing away. In the middle there seemed to be a very comfortable hand grip made of plant fibres, and the top was crowned with silver with various runes carved into it. Truly, it was a thing of beauty.

Albus took it into his hands, and immediately felt the power of it, and the mellow feelings that he had the whole morning increased. The staff felt better than using the Elder wand, which he hadn't believed possible. He gave it a slight wave, only for what seemed like a solid waterfall of colourful sparks to come from it. If he could figure out how to use it properly, then this would be a weapon of light to oppose Voldemort!

"Truly a work of beauty, old friend. I am highly pleased."

Ollivander blinked and felt some of his pains leave as the staff gave off that waterfall. He still felt tired, however. "Then leave me for a while, Albus. I fear I need rest more than compliments."

Albus left, highly pleased with his day, and with his new toy.

One person, however, was not happy and was following the old wizard from a ways back.

He knew about the Philosophers Stone being kept at the bank until someone from the castle could collect it, and it seemed it was the old man who was going to do so. It was so like the arrogance of the old wizard, just like when he had been a student. Who was going to question the Great Dumbledore, who some said was the second coming of Merlin himself? He was going to follow the old man and attack him with his back turned to get that stone before it ended up in the castle. As if the old man could defy the will of Voldemort!

But the old man was being as canny as any Slytherin, making a spectacle of himself, and making a zigzag towards the bank. In fact, the man had spent an hour just devouring various sweets on the way, It was infuriating! If only the old man would complete his trip, then they could get around to a good old fashioned robbery.

But the Dumbledore spent another hour going to various places, and ended up at Ollivander's where he spent a half hour. After that, he went back to the Cauldron with a walking staff and left! The old man had been a decoy, and he never figured it out which meant the stone was now in the castle itself. Quirell, who had Voldemort in him, growled. Outsmarted by a crazed old man. It was just not done!

He promised that he would get him, and his little helpers too!

Omake by Philip Jacobs

As usual Chris, you're coming along very nicely with the extension to the life and times of Harry Smart, agent of Control. I was looking over the story again, and it occurred to me that Kaos has to have seen Harry and the rest of Max's family as a challenge. After all, while Kaos has been courting them all in the guise of godparenting encounters, wouldn't it make sense that they need their own set of magically-inclined agent trainees? And who better for this than a daughter of English dentists? I can see a scene in the future that goes something like this:

Jacob Granger was what one could call a reluctant morning person. While he was perfectly capable of rising with the dawn and buckling down to work swiftly, he much preferred a more leisurely beginning to the day that was possible in the summer months. A leisurely morning cuddle with his devoted lifemate, morning ablutions including a near-scalding hot shower, and then a healthy breakfast attended by his wife and lovely daughter while discussing the day's schedule. Today would be an especially interesting morning meal since the family had received a major shock the previous evening in the form of a visit from what was likely to be one of the instructors from Hermione's new boarding school. Granted, both he and Charlotte were somewhat sceptical of the claims of McGonagall, but her practical demonstration did go a long way to settling their doubts, and quite lit the fires of his daughter's enthusiasm for attending Hogwarts in place of her "normal" educational track; at least for the standard school year. That still left the summer break for any non-magical curricula that Hermione wanted to indulge in. Knowing that this would be a fairly involved discussion, he and Charlotte had already cleared their morning appointment book at the practice so that family discussions could proceed without interruption.

In this case, there was an extra topic that inserted itself at the last moment. It came in the form of a large manila envelope, addressed to their daughter in care of her parents, stamped with a "Priority" delivery seal, and hand-delivered by the Royal Mail carrier to his wife this morning as they were clearing the breakfast dishes. While he and Hermione handled the breakfast dishes, Charlotte opened the envelops, and examined the contents, which lead to a look of confusion on her part. As Jacob finished putting the last of the breakfast dishes away, she handed a glossy pamphlet with a peculiar logo on its cover to their daughter, and said, "I wonder how many other companies offer scholarship programs for muggleborn students attending Hogwarts?"

"Probably just for ones with a dental background, Mum," Hermione commented as she paged though the KAOS Manifesto. "It is one of the supporting corporations of the BDA, after all."


End file.
